In Brain on Fire: My Month of Madness, Susannah Cahalan struggles to reconstruct the events during her month of madness in which Susannah's twenty-four years of normality suddenly come to an end lost within a few weeks. Because his consciousness and his physical body are no longer compatible, he is no longer able to understand what he is doing, and therefore he can no longer understand what he is becoming. With virtually no memory of his actions, Cahalan's self is fragmented and he uses Brain on Fire to pioneer his journey in hopes of redefining his identity. Say no to plagiarism. Get a tailor-made essay on "Why Violent Video Games Shouldn't Be Banned"? Get an Original Essay Because of the lack of control Susannah has over her actions, Susannah uses words like monster and stranger to describe the part of her that she and her family repeatedly confront. For example, when she rereads old Susannah's diary entries “urgently [attempting] to communicate a deep, dark part of herself” (60), she describes it as incomprehensible even though she wrote it herself. This part of Susannah is completely foreign and dysfunctional. Her boyfriend, Stephen, remains by her side and Susannah describes him as Stephen "who loves her enough" (58) to look past the ailing Susannah and see the old Susannah in her. Just by saying this, he hints at how her illness created this negative aspect that blocked the "real" Susannah from everyone else, hence a separate categorization. Although Susannah's emotional and physical well-being depends on the support of her family, it begins to take a toll when "pity" begins to seem to radiate from them. So Susannah not only needs to rely on them for practically everything, but she also needs to be able to feel their support. This dependent, crazy, and unpredictable side of Susannah is what drives her to characterize herself as a monster. As Susannah's state of being rapidly deteriorates, she relies on her family, friends, and outside sources to help her piece together the mystery of the "new Susannah." ”. Earlier, Stephen witnesses one of Cahalan's attacks. Although she vividly describes the scene, Susannah has not regained her memory of this crisis, saying that she has instead relied on her memory of Stephen (41). This event marked a turning point in Susannah's life, where she would look back and remember only one significant disconnect. Later, for Susannah's birthday, her cousin Hannah gives her a gift that she has trouble unwrapping. She says that his "physical slowness and awkward way of speaking reminded Hannah of a Parkinson's patient" (104). In fact, when it turns out that the gifts reflect books she had previously read, Susannah says she has never read them. This observation from Hannah and her mother is an outside source that clearly shows how forgetful Susannah was during her illness, further demonstrated by the fact that she cannot remember the entire event after her illness regardless. When her friends visit her in the hospital and try to find out what is happening, she once again says “I…….don't……remember” (111). This repeated forgetfulness portrays a struggle between the old Susannah and the new Susannah in doing normal, everyday things, such as holding a casual conversation with friends she has had for years. During her month of madness, there are always people around her wondering “do you think she will always be the same” (111). As she delves into the mystery of her illness, Susannah not only disconnects from her old self, but loses it completely when madness takes over. His illness has caused his behavior todeviates from what it believes to be the social norm and, consequently, gives way to a multitude of binary constructions. In the beginning, when Susannah tries to find a reason why she is the way she is, she ends up going back and forth with her mother and Allen due to multiple illogical behaviors.reasons she finds (56). This is an indicator to post-recovery Susannah, her mother, and Allen of how the rational Susannah was replaced with an erratic one during her illness. Although Susannah has maintained a normal, professional lifestyle up until now, she quickly becomes impulsive and delusional. This is reflected when he tries to jump out of the car shortly after hallucinating (61). Susannah also has a significant problem with her speech, a problem that she, as a professional journalist, never faced before her illness. She says that "I had been a professional conversationalist, normally the kind of person who could make small talk to a brick wall" (109). During her illness, however, Susannah talks about how people can barely understand what she says half the time. This is an indicator of the emergence of a new self and perhaps even the loss of his old identity. In one of the EEG videos, Susannah is seen turning on the TV and talking to her, then freaking out when the nurses turn the TV off (87). Since at this point no one has yet identified the illness in Susannah, these delusions not only impact Susannah, but also the doctors who try to help her. They associate terms like "schizoaffective disorder" and "psychosis" with Susannah, which pushes her further into confusion. This confusion can be seen as doctors continue to associate terms with its symptoms but are unable to pinpoint a specific cause with their MRIs. and CT scans (114). In fact, at one point a nurse tells her that she has seen Susannah's situation before and that it is all in her head due to the stress of Susannah's job (64). Susannah takes it literally and ends up thinking it was all a set-up and that the nurse was a hired actress. As a result, this deflates Susannah's motivation to find answers, which expands the void in her identity that she is working to fill. Even though Susannah's deviation becomes apparent to her at some point, she still has difficulty adapting and conforming to it. appropriately. However, many of his reactions were greatly influenced by his illness. For example, this is evident when Dr. Najjar redirected Susannah to a brain biopsy, Susannah reacted with childlike enthusiasm that quickly turned to fear and distress (137). Furthermore, Susannah's new self is so deviant from her old self, that even she barely recognizes herself. When Susannah describes watching videotapes of herself, she says that she "could never have imagined [herself] capable of such madness and misery" (175). Susannah's identity is also shaped and influenced in many ways by her relationship with her family. , boyfriend and friends. Throughout the memoir, Susannah often reveals how the support of these people contributed to Susannah's healing journey. When Susannah's old self emerges from abnormality and madness, it is clear that she has moved the characters around her because she represents progress. This can be seen when Susannah and her boyfriend Stephen begin to sing the chorus of a song they both love together towards the end of the book (171) and Stephen reacts with amazement. Susannah's relationship with her father is also very significant. At the beginning of the memoir, his father is very apprehensive and cautious. As the story progresses, Susannah's illness brings her father down to the point of.