Heart of Darkness: The evil of man In the novel Heart of Darkness, written by Joseph Conrad, Marlow finds himself in a position where he forced to accept the fact that the man he admired and looked up to is a madman. He realizes that Kurtz's methods are not only unethical, but also inhumane. Marlow realizes that Kurtz is evil and that he himself is also evil. Thus, Marlow's disillusionment makes his identification with Kurtz terrifying. As Marlow travels up the river, he is constantly worried about Kurtz. Says Marlow, I thought I saw Kurtz for the first time... the lone white man suddenly turning his back on headquarters, on relief, on thoughts of home... towards his empty and desolate station(32). From the beginning of his journey he is compared to Kurtz by everyone he comes into contact with and most of his thoughts are centered on Kurtz. He wonders how he will meet the standards the company sets for him, what Kurtz's personality is, and what Kurtz would think of him. The more obsessed he becomes with Kurtz, the more he prepares himself for the horrific reality of what his new idol is truly made of. Once they reach Kurtz's station, Marlow's disillusionment begins to take over. He is greeted by an English-speaking Russian who he takes for a man. On the surface, he is a decent and level-headed person, but after a brief conversation it is apparent to Marlow that he is talking to a disturbed individual. But that wasn't what worried Marlow. Hearing and seeing the acts committed by Kurtz made Marlow uncomfortable and even afraid. It is at this point that Marlow begins to deny any affinity he feels with Kurtz. Regarding the Russian he says that I suppose it hadn't occurred to him that Mr. Kurtz was not an idol of mine(59). Marlow sees all the atrocities Kurtz has committed and is shocked, but when he looks deep inside himself, he sees what he could easily become and desperately wants to suppress it. Once Kurtz is on the boat and heading with Marlow towards civilization, things take a strange turn. Although Marlow and Kurtz have little to talk about, they develop a clear respect for each other. When Kurtz dies, Marlow easily accepts this death and remains faithful to his death demands. Marlow is very disturbed that there is so much of himself in the things Kurtz does. There is a point where Marlow discovers the evil that lurks in the hearts of all men and simply accepts it. This is demonstrated most clearly at the end of the story when he states that he thinks, don't you understand, I loved him, I loved him, I loved him (79). In this quote Marlow lets it all out. On the surface he hated Kurtz's actions, but he loved his power to fight society's standards and live like a real man. Marlow discovers that there is a wild beast in him and in all men in his mind. There are many problems that Marlow has to deal with and he keeps calm. It is Kurtz's lack of composure that Marlow admires in private. In this story Marlow is forced to accept his disillusionment with Kurtz, and is terrified of the identification that comes with this acceptance. It is only then that Marlow realizes the true nature of man.