Male and female relationships in Virginia Woolf's To The Lighthouse exemplifies the condition of women when Woolf was writing and to some extent today. It offers a solution to remedy the condition of men and women. To say that the novel is a cry for a change in attitude towards women is not entirely correct. It shows the plight of both men and women and how patriarchy is harmful to both genders. Mrs. Ramsey. Both suffer from the unequal gender division of power in Woolf's society. Lily is also largely a product of society, yet she has new ideas about the role of women and produces an answer to the problems of gender power. In addition to providing these examples of patriarchy, To The Lighthouse examines the tenacity of human relationships in general, producing a novel with twists, turns, problems, and perhaps a solution. Mrs. Ramsey is the perfect patriarchal woman. It barely has an identity of its own. Her life is male-oriented: if he put total trust in her, nothing should hurt him; no matter how deep he buried himself or climbed high, not for a second would he find himself without her. Thus boasting of her ability to surround and protect, she was left with barely a shell of herself through which to know herself. (Woolf, Lighthouse 38). Identity is a strong desire throughout humanity, yet in a patriarchal society it has been denied to women. Women owned by men are mere possessions, they have no control over themselves and have no way to develop their personalities. Mrs. Ramsey always needs people around her because she has nothing internalized. It must create itself through other people. She always bounces off someone else, preferably a male who has power, but needs her to keep that power. By g... middle of paper... promise to improve these relationships through change. Even today there are strong remnants of patriarchy that dominates society. Men consistently rise higher in management and receive higher pay for equal work. This novel shows men and women suffering and struggling with social roles. The answer to the problem lies in both sexes. Indeed, as Mill states, "women cannot be expected to devote themselves to the emancipation of women until men in considerable numbers are willing to join them in the enterprise" (194). This is not a women's problem; it's a human problem. Works CitedMill, John Stuart. "the subjugation of women". On freedom and other writings. New York: Cambridge UP, 1989. 119-94.Woolf, Virginia. A Room of One's Own Orlando, Florida: Harcourt Brace Jovanovich, 1929.---. At the lighthouse. Orlando, FL: Harcourt Brace & Company, 1927.