FRIENDS WITH DEFECTS How do you feel about having a friend with problems? You may already have done so. And guess what? Your friend may feel the same about you. The point is that no one is perfect, so don't expect to find a perfect friend. Have you heard the saying “don't sweat the small stuff”? You might have little accidents sometimes, but is it worth ruining a friendship? Don't stay angry for long. If you have an argument, talk about it and resolve it. True friends care enough about each other to forgive and forget. If you have problems that are too difficult to resolve, perhaps your relationship is incompatible. If so, it's not worth continuing this unhealthy relationship. But be cautious and don't let an accident end a good relationship that may be worth saving. If you're uncertain, don't abruptly end a friendship. Let your emotions calm down and take time to look at the situation logically. Then you will know what to do. Many best friend relationships have problems, but this is common. Accepting friends and their flaws is the best way to make and keep a good friend for life. LESSONS LEARNED IN THIS SECTION: Be prepared to accept a friend with flaws. You have flaws too. If you have a dispute, calm down before talking about it. Learn to forgive and forget. Don't let little arguments end a good friendship. RESPECT BOUNDARIES OR ELSE A person in a co-dependent relationship who doesn't understand healthy boundaries can ruin a good friendship. Knowing your boundaries simply means understanding acceptable limits and respecting them. Here's a story about a co-dependent relationship. Remember the lady I told you about earlier who knocked on doors to make friends? I have another story to tell about her. This time he involves me and shows...... middle of paper......skillful with. Just ask and discuss mutually acceptable limits if you can't say so yourself. If it's too awkward, listen to the tone of their voice when you say you want to visit them or do something with them. If their response lacks enthusiasm, perhaps they are trying to tell you something without saying it. Finally, look for clues in their body language. If you make a suggestion and they take a deep breath and sigh, it can be a sign of disapproval. Be aware of crossing acceptable limits, but don't obsess over searching for clues. If necessary, adjust the amount of time you spend with a friend. If you don't respect boundaries, you increase the chance of losing a friend, like I did. LESSONS LEARNED IN THIS CHAPTER: Respect good boundaries. Discuss acceptable limits. Don't let emotional needs be a burden. Adjust the time spent together if necessary..